Staring at the Sun -Lil/Riley-

[Arrow Cervantes]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUWFbxc5LSE&feature=related

Back in his spot, the same spot he sought protection from the hurt he felt from a simple departure. Instead of the comforting darkness, sunlight peeked through the rotting boards that made up the wall. Why did he run here? The darkness was the main reason he found this spot so comforting. Maybe he just wanted to be by himself? Hopefully Riley wouldn’t show up randomly like she did last time.

Sitting on the comfortable couch, aged with tears in faded fabric, he leaned his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. The sun rays pelted his skin and he felt…warm. It was a paradise, this room. The black acoustic guitar that he normally vented his pent up emotions lately was sprawled on his lap, just calling to be played. Picking it up he put it side up on his lap and put his fingers where they were meant to be. Taking the pick that he had been nibbling on due to a bad habit, he started strumming a few chords. He did not want to sing this time. He didn’t trust his own voice. It would sound lifeless…dull…broken. He ran away from the confrontation with Lilia hoping to clear his mind, to heal the lies he made himself believe, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to leave the shack.

It was time a miracle was thrown his way. He was due for one! He went through so much pain, misery, and heartache in his life the world owes him one. In a hand of cards, he got the pocket deuces, always to be the underdog, waiting in the shadows of the pot for a lucky river. But no, someone trumped him, someone squashed any chance of winning that miracle; that someone is Lilia. How dare she show up when I was just starting to get over her. It took a year! A whole year and she shows up with those beautiful blue eyes expecting me to welcome her with open arms. Fuck that…

[/color] Anger seeped up again from within him and he began strumming the guitar with a new fervor he didn’t even know he had in him right now. Looking up while strumming, he stared at a particular bright ray shining against his eyes and just kept starring. There was nothing coming of it, but he felt that it was a way to help him see the truth. Was she really there because she missed him? Why didn’t she say goodbye…would she really not have left if she did? Too many damn questions. All he knew the answers to was that he did miss her, he did love her, he was a little bit happy to see her back…scratch that…he was ecstatic. Maybe this was the miracle he was waiting for. He didn’t want to believe it…but maybe…just maybe.

The song ended and he placed the guitar on the coffee table in front of him. Laying down on the couch, one leg propped on it one foot resting on the ground. His arms crossed over his eyes feeling as if he went blind from staring at the sun too long. He was used to the darkness. The darkness is where he met, got to know, and fell in love with Lilia. There was no sun involved in that. Maybe the sun was what he needed to get back on track. Maybe…he just needed to forgive her. He couldn’t let it go either; there was too much hurt and questioning and lies over the past year to just let it drop. Maybe it would heal over time.

All he knew at the moment…was that he wanted her in his arms[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[lilia]

LILIA:

She was on the floor of the Astronomy tower, sprawled in a corner against the wall. Her arms pulled her legs to her chest, her forehead on her knees. She tried not to move, for the fact that she would start to shake. She tried not to think, because the numbing feeling would erupt and she would be in pain once again. She had felt what it was like to lose Arrow again...and this time, he ripped himself from her without a backward glance. And it was all her fault. Lilia tried to suppress a sob. How could she have been so stupid? To think that he would forgive her. To hope for the unconditional love that he had always given her. She had been lying to herself when she had imagined being in his arms once again. She had tried to save him, and everyone else, and he shunned her away.

Lilia let her crying whither. She lifted her head, bent her neck back until the back of her head was resting against the comfortable stone wall. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her hands, glowing red with blood. In her left hand, her handy pocket knife lay lifeless. On her right arm, the fresh line of hatred for herself was glowing almost eerily in ruby red.

RILEY:

She was in a room in the shrieking shack. It might not have been prudent, but Riley had had an immense urge to talk to Arrow. For some reason...she felt like it was important. She didn't know why, or how it could possibly tie with her life at all. But she could feel it. Tonight had one of those feelings. It was a crescent moon...there was serenity in the air. Maybe it was just the beauty of the night...maybe it was just Riley being hopeful once again. But she wanted to share tonight with her dark angel...maybe finally manage to get in deeper still, and try to heal his wounds.

The moment she heard music, she knew he was in there. She had been reading a fascinating book, but suddenly all fascination toward it grew weary. She was listening. It was just the guitar today...his voice had been kept out. She thought she recognized the melody, as she almost always did, but she couldn't guess what song it was. Why wasn't he singing? Riley, closing her book quietly, leaving it on her broken chair, walked out of the room and let her eyes wander to Arrow just as he had finished playing. His guitar was no longer in his hands, and his body language said only one thing: torment.

Without thinking, Riley went to the couch. What was wrong? She sat on it gently, trying not to startle Arrow, being as daring as always...especially with him. She found her hand was squeezing his shoulder. Her legs were tucked under her and she was facing him on the couch. His face was concealed under his arms. "Arrow? Are you all right?"

(yes, i know, both shitty posts. YOURS were AMAZING!!!!! Riley is too sweet...compared to arrow...and lilia...teehee xp)

[Arrow Cervantes]

Her voice broke through the tense silence and Arrow groaned in frustration. The one thing that could go wrong just happened. Why did she have to show up? There’s nothing wrong with her, but she wasn’t Lilia. Her light, almost gray, blue eyes could not compare to the striking blue eyes that Lilia possessed. Her long, slightly curly, brunette hair was dull next to the straight, black, luscious hair of Lilia. The girl who had his entire being around a single finger was smaller than the royal beauty but within that petite nature was a fire that burned brightly, searing any that got in her way. Riley was too…sweet…too caring to ever be as stubborn or fiesty as Lilia. What he wanted was Lilia. What he needed was Lilia. So why was Riley sitting next to him asking if he was okay?

She was right next to his body, a single hand placed on his body asking if he was okay. His personal space was being invaded and he just wanted to be alone while his head was building a tower of thoughts. He moved the foot that was on the floor and pressed it against Riley nudging her to back away. Trying not to do it violently he didn’t even move his arms so he didn’t even take one look at the predictable concerned face. His space was cluttered and he needed to get rid of her. All he wanted was to have this couch to himself, not caring how childish that sounded in his head. Right now, he didn’t want to deal with humans, he already had to deal with their emotions and that was already too much for him to handle.

Hurt and pain was something that he always thoughts about. It was two emotions he felt the most aside from anger. There was a distinct difference between the two to him. Pain was something you felt physically, whether it be a scar on the wrist, broken leg, or even the sudden loss of breath one felt as something tragic happened. Hurt was something you mainly felt emotionally where a delicate heart could shatter into a million pieces, where a whole life could seem bleak and meaningless, where a purpose so concrete and stable can be ripped away and leave behind meaningless entities. There was nothing in his life right now except for Ray, Aiden and Gracie. But the last two could survive without him, they had Adrianna and the Order. Ray didn’t really seem to have no one, but she mentioned a Ravenclaw…

Groaning out loud he couldn’t get his mind to stay away from Lilia. Even thinking about Ray and her love life, it turned around on him and thought about the night him and Lilia met…

[/size]

[giggle]

LILIA:

Before she knew it, she was running. Lilia left her sleeves rolled up, not paying attention to the searing pain that she was now so used to. Her legs seemed to be moving by their own free will. Suddenly, it didn't matter just how tired and travel-worn she was. Everything that had happened just didn't matter...she didn't care anymore that she had left, that she had put her life and her heart on the line countless times in the last year. She didn't even care that Arrow thought up stupid and pointless reasons for her leaving. She didn't care about what he made out of everything...she didn't even care that he would never forgive her. All she cared about was making it right. And her mind was set...she will make it right. No matter what. She could barely feel the sting on her arm, though the cut was deep.

She ran out of the castle, her heart hammering. Lilia was breathing hard as she stopped at the foot of the threshold. Panting, she walked to the great gates of Hogwarts, letting the wind hit her face forcefully. Thinking hard, Lilia tried to figure out where Arrow could possibly be. She wasn't about to let him run away from all of it. She wasn't going to let it be over because of her stupid mistakes. She had to fix everything, and she knew in her heart that she could. Arrow had to see reason.

Before she knew it, she was in Hogsmeade, her eyes fixed on only one place: the shrieking shack. Arrow...with his steel silver eyes that took her breath away, and his sharp and unbelievably handsome features...he seldom had places Lilia didn't know about. And certainly, she had never known him to find refuge in the Shrieking Shack. She had been his refuge. But a feeling surged through her body. Darkness lurked in that Shack, the sort of place Lilia could picture him in. She didn't even know why...but she could feel it. He had to be there. She was running. In almost an instant, she was at the blocked entrance. The last sounds of a guitar playing was her affirmation. He was there. With a wave of her wand, now clutched in her left hand, the doorway cleared soundlessly. Her head held high, she marched in.

RILEY:

She moved almost involuntarily to the side. He hadn't even moved, save for his leg, pushing her away as easily as if she were a simple nuisance. Nothing but a fly hovering around him. Her hand fell from his shoulder, a pang of rejection reverberating throughout her body. But did Arrow seriously think Riley was going to give up that easily? She had managed to get him to talk a bit before...and they had spent a fair amount of time together. Was she to forget all of that? Of course not. Arrow had become something for Riley, even if he hadn't yet noticed it.

She sat back and crossed her legs indian style, her head tilting to the side. Today, she wore white leggings and black shorts, her rainbow converse, and a white sleeveless shirt. She hadn't realized it would be a cold night, and instinctively, she shivered. Riley crossed her arms over her chest and let out an enormous sigh, annoyance growing. "Come on, Arrow..." she said, gently. "You know you can talk to me."

At that moment, she heard a clatter. As if someone had dropped something. Riley jumped and turned her head, just in time to see...a stunning girl with long black hair and eyes so wide and angry with fire it almost made Riley want to recoil. Her arm was bleeding, but she didn't seem to care. The clatter had been a wand, and it seemed as though it had slipped from her hands Though she was small, smaller then Riley's 5'6", her voice was loud and clear. "Who the hell are you?!" Riley said nothing, only stared in slight shock. Who was she?

[Symphanie Agassi]

Groaning he tried to block out her piercing voice from his awareness. He didn’t want to deal with any of this and her trying to coax him into talking to her, to open up to her, was out of the question. To talk about it was only going to make this pain a reality and right now it was just a nightmare, he would rather not wake up to it yet. Opening his eyes was not going to happen, he would just see Riley instead of Lilia and that would just crush him more for some reason, he knew it would. How would she feel once she finds out that she’s nothing to him but a close acquaintance? Maybe even a friend. He didn’t know how he felt about having more friends than the two he had, not including Lilia.

Then he heard the door open, the clanging of something small hitting the floor, a threatening silence and then a searing voice screaming in frustration at the new comer. Life was never this hard for him. It started swirling around in a typhoon as soon as he became afraid of losing those he cares about most, when he lost his mother. When he became afraid, he began to not even know what to do with himself, how to handle situations, and always relied on violence and his guitar to vent. His muscles twitched and he felt time slow down, he was about to breakdown and his hands grabbed the sides of his head, fingers clenched on his scalp, fingernails embedding themselves, eyes closed tightly, shutting the sight of the two girls who were driving him crazy out. He’s been pushed to the brink of madness…

Sitting straight up, he grabbed Riley’s arm forcefully and stood up, forcing her to as well. Walking over to the door, he tossed her weak body out and slammed the door with a reverberating thud as an aftermath of his rage, hurt, and ignorance. Turning around, his enraged silver eyes glared at Lilia and he let his rage out, walking over to the other wall and proceeded to just punch a hole through the decaying walls. A gaping hole to mimic the one in his soul. He didn’t turn around. Why the hell can’t you just get out of my mind?! Why can’t you understand that I want to be alone?! I don’t want to deal with any of this. I don’t want to deal with pain. I don’t want to deal with Anything!

[/u][/color] He shouted and rested his forehead against the wall. He was once told by Ray:

The only way out of this situation you got yourself in is to walk through the pain, ‘Ro.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[lilia]

RILEY:

She had been completely distracted with the arrival of the newcomer. Anger seemed to rage throughout the small shrieking shack. And Riley could not understand its presence. She turned to glance at Arrow, wondering if he knew anything about this girl. But she chose not to ask...the expression on his face...it was almost menacing. Instead, she turned to look back at the girl and tilted her head, deciding maybe she should just answer. But she didn't even manage to open her mouth before a sharp pain pierced her arm

Surprised, Riley turned again, and saw that Arrow, not even looking at her, had grabbed her arm. "What...are you--" but she couldn't finished her sentence. With a gasp, she was forced to stand, and before she knew it, she was standing outside, her whispy blue eyes staring in surprise at the raging Arrow, and the girl...who's intense eyes had not left Riley. They had been angry, but now they were slightly surprised, and mostly...jealous? Then they were nothing. They were solid, as if a sudden brick wall covered all emotions. She only had a flickering image of Arrow once more before he slammed the door, shutting her out forever. Riley stepped back, stunned, and struggling not to cry.

LILIA:

Her jealousy was raging. She didn't even know she had the ability to feel such jealousy. But it was there. And the moment her eyes met that girl's, she knew...she hated her. She didn't care how scared and confused, and utterly appalled the skinny little brunette looked, out in the cold, pushed out by Arrow (that part had made her slightly happy, to know that Arrow was throwing her out). She simply hated her, with all her might. Who the hell was she?!

The sight of her gone as Arrow slammed the door, she focused all her attention back at him. Lilia should have known just how enraged he would be, especially after he had left her at the astronomy tower. She braced herself as, calmly, she watched him throw his anger at anything and everything. She held her breath as he yelled at her, repeating in her mind over and over again that she didn't care about any of it...only getting him back...only healing everything...that's all that mattered. Lilia took several breaths, and forced herself to look at him. His eyes were full of so much emotion, it was almost overwhelming. Lilia could feel herself sighing in sadness, but this time she held her head high. Running a hand through her hair, she walked up to him, prepared to make him see reason.

"Yeah, I can see you want to be 'alone'," she said, anger starting to form in her own throat. She pointed to the door and tried to keep her voice below yelling. "I can see just how much I was in your mind." Her heart hammered as the jealousy raged through her again. "But how alone can you be, Arrow, with some random girl sitting right next to you?" She didn't even know why the girl's presence mattered. But Lilia just couldn't get over the way the girl was touching him, so close to him. "I bet you suffered a lot. All alone, weren't you? With her around."

She tried to calm down. "Dammit! You have to deal with it, we both do. Will you stop being so stubborn and please just believe me?!"

[Arrow Cervantes]

She was jealous of Riley. Arrow wanted to laugh…laugh at her for her utter stupidity. How could she be jealous of someone who was so plain next to her embodied goddess? That’s right, Lilia viewed herself as a piece of filth basically. He remembered her old addiction to cutting, eyes wandering to her wrists in remembrance only to see a fresh line of malice. How could she? Anger flared up in Arrow and he reached over and grabbed her wrist, ignoring everything she had already said. His fingers encircled her wrists and pressed themselves into her tender wrists. How could you?! He question shaking her wrist in front of her face.

Lilia may have been perfect…but she was stupid to think that a line of blood on her wrist could take away the pain from this situation. If he couldn’t drink, she couldn’t cut, it was their deal. I didn’t go back to my drinking ways why are you cutting!? You know what? Go kill yourself see if that finally takes away your pain! He lifted her wrist up again placing a cold finger at the top of her wrist and dragging it down roughly, making sure to pass over the fresh cut, and toward the elbow. This way would do the trick a lot more effective than what you’re doing! He was irrefutably mad. And this just topped the cake.

You look at me and get jealous over a dull piece of trash like her and ignore the fact that I was absolutely not acknowledging her presence! It wouldn’t be the first time an annoying female would stick around, too stubborn for their own good! You were gone for a whole year without any word, what did you expect to come back to? Me standing there with open arms, my whole life on pause till you finally came back? Sorry, doll face, that whole scenario went away the moment I learned you were gone and weren’t coming back. He ranted, his silver eyes piercing into her blue ones, if she so attempted to speak he would just grip her wrist tighter, digging his fingers into her cut.

What did you think I would do once you found me? Invade my personal space? Try to fix what you had shattered? Forget the past and start anew? Fuck you and your insane logic. I already know there is no other girl for me than you! But you can’t keep doing this and expect that I won’t get pissed off! He shouted venomously at the end. Throwing her wrist down, he looked at her and brought his lips to her, molding the two fired up souls once again. It was what they deserved. To finally be a part of each other again. His hands cupped her face, his eyes closed, as he kissed her with all the pent up hate, anger, hurt, betrayal, lies, and love that he had from her absence. Everything spilled out into that kiss. Everything.

[/size]

[lilia]

Before she knew it, he had taken the tightest of holds on her. His hand had imprisoned her wrist, so painfully she couldn't help but wince. Her heart hammered with his sudden proximity, and her ears were ringing with the intensity of his angry voice. She stared at her own flying arm, too close to her face, and watched as a single ruby red drop of blood bubbled to the surface of her fresh wound.

Silently, she listened as, with cold and heartbreaking stabs of words, he wished for her death. With an impressive effort Lilia tried not to flinch as his rough finger traced the path of suicide on her skin. But she was trembling all over, with the effort of keeping the tears from streaming. She was shaking, trying to breathe normally, though she gasped for air, and she was crying as silently as she possibly could. With a feeble attempt, she tried to free her wrist from Arrow's grasp, but he had been holding on too tightly. It only made it hurt more. "Fuck you, Arrow Cervantes," her voice was low and trembling, almost inaudible. "I don't need your anger and your pathetic pity. I can end it all on my own."

After she had spoken, he began to speak once more, as if she had never said a word. Her eyes had managed to find his, and for the first time she regretted it. He had never seen so much hatred, so much anger, so much pure pain in his eyes before. It scared her so much. She listened angrily, and sadly, as he said things unimaginable. It was as if he didn't even know her. "Don't--" but he cut her off with more words, and a tightened grip on her wrist. She tried to shake him off again, even more weakly then before, but it was nearly impossible to do.

Her eyes widened at his last words, finally words that made sense to her. Arrow was finally saying what she both regretted and longed to hear. She was biting down on her lip now to try and suppress her sob. I already know there is no other girl for me than you Her heart throbbed painfully at his final words, and in an instant she could feel her head spinning. Every single cell in her body was erupting in pain, she was on the brink of utter darkness, and she was falling once again...but she wanted to fall this time. Arrow had just made it clear that he would be at the bottom, ready to hurt her, and so there.

She made a sound of surprise as his lips found hers. Her wrist finally free, she clenched her hands into fists in fury. After everything he had just said...it wasn't fair to just cut her off with a kiss. But...wasn't it?

Everything was drifting into place as his walls crumbled to the ground, and he finally let her in again. Lilia had wanted to punch Arrow hard for everything he had said. But instead she ran her fingers through his hair and pressed her body against his. She had fit herself perfectly against him, molded every part of them together, making them fit in such a perfect way, that no two other people would ever be able to master. Trembling, she could feel every fiber of emotion being pushed onto her as they kissed, and the force of it made her stumble back. But she pulled him along with her, until her back had hit the wall almost too forcefully. Nothing mattered to her anymore...only the very heat of his body. At that moment, she lived only for the fiery passion that he grew inside of her, the undying love she could not hold in her too-heavy heart, and the beautiful and everlasting emotion of Arrow.

[Arrow Cervantes]

Why did she always have to bring the worst out of him? Riley never did…and yet he would choose the monster known as Lilia over the angel any day. He preferred the fallen ones than the light. And yet, he couldn’t help but always be at his worst when Lilia was around sometimes. His hardened silver bullets glared at her when she tried to put her own anger into his little schpeal that reflected his anger about her cutting herself yet again. No matter how much he wasn’t good enough for her, she shouldn’t have to lower herself down to his level and add onto the scars. It was almost as if she was keeping a tally of how many times she’s seen arrow like this. The scars kept adding up…

Oh, you can can you? Can you take that blade and run it up your wrist just like I showed you? Can you break a promise to me after ripping my world apart? If she had an answer he wouldn’t listen and dug his fingers into her wound. Any answer she gave him would probably be the result of kindling rage that he just kept building. He didn’t care though. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to bury deep into her security and bring it down to his low level. He wasn’t cut to be a self-esteemed fellow who knew what he wanted, where he was going, and what he didn’t want. All he knew was that he hated the world and Lilia was otherworldly.

He was pulled toward the wall where the force of their reuniting kiss hurled them to. It was an intense show-and-tell where they revealed their still everlasting love for each other that was kindled by anger, love, and insecurities. Arrow never thought much of himself. He could never be a thief who could steal; he could never be the wise man with the right words to say; he could never be the blind man with the ability to feel. He could never amount to anything all the way in his eyes but be himself for Lilia. And just for her. She was the meaning of his life whether he liked it or not, and trust him, he didn’t like the dependence he had on the raven beauty.

Their bodies were close as he towered over her, his lips connected, his eyes shut with the intensity of the embrace. His one hand was still cradling her face, pulling it gently toward him while the other one gripped her waist pulling her body toward his furthermore. Maybe he was wrong for being so down on himself. Maybe there was more to himself than the half-assed creation his mother and father had concocted. This was how she reminded him of who he really was, of the man he was suppose to be, from his highs to his lows and every detail in between; this was how he handed her his heart on a silver platter, and to him after knowing he still had her, it was worth rebuilding.

[/size]

[lilia]

It was a feeling like no other. Disbelief impossible to compare. Lilia's streaming eyes had widened as she looked at Arrow...her Arrow, the love of her life, the only reason she was able to breathe at the end of the day. It couldn't be him...this person standing before her, hurting her in ways she never thought she could be hurt, could not be Arrow Cervantes. She had given her reasons, she had given facts, she had struggled to hold on to every last shred of hold. And at last there she stood, with his fingers digging into her wound. It stung painfully, and the pain scared her endlessly. Why was he hurting her so physically? Didn't he understand that the words he had been throwing at her, and every single second away from him, had been punishment enough? Why wasn't he letting her go...

Lilia had begun to tremble. But the stream of tears had stopped. For some insane reason, she could feel a new sort of strength growing in her. The strength she needed to stand up to Arrow. "Tell me," she said, her voice surprisingly steady, "Does a promise mean anything when your wishes are the exact opposite?" She had stopped trying to struggle, and instead stood her ground, ignoring the pain on her wound. That didn't matter anymore. "How can you even say you care, when you just said you wanted me to do it? What difference does it make now? I have made you hate me, and though I regret every single moment of being away from you, you just don't care. So why does it even matter?"

With the smallest of sounds, Lilia sighed. She stood on her toes as, with no effort at all, she wrapped her arms around his neck. The deepest of all kisses was forming between them, and it was making her entirely breathless for more. Suddenly, it wasn't so wrong that she had returned, and it was absolutely horrible that she broke the promise of not hurting herself. All of a sudden, leaving became the worst decision of her life, and her only life became Arrow. There was nothing left for her to do, nothing for her to dream...she had everything in a desperate instant...she had him, and she was finally once again in his arms. In that instant, she realized...dying with him at her side was better than not dying at all, and living without him. In that second, she finally knew...she should have never left.

Lilia started to tremble again. And in that moment of utter weakness, she could feel a sob rising in her throat she could no longer suppress. She had to know...she had to fully understand that he had forgiven her. She couldn't be sure until she heard it. But she refused to let him go. With a tremendous effort, Lilia pulled away from the kiss, and she pulled him into the strongest of hugs. She had him embraced, her face against his shoulder, and in that moment she could feel herself crying. She knew she could never let go. "I'm sorry...please, just say you forgive me...I can't live without you. I can't do this anymore. I'm begging you...forgive me. Please..." Her voice was broken, and thick with tears. In the end, there could only be the small shimmer of hope, and only one thing left to say. "Arrow...I love you."